Gaybies

                                                   My Children Mariah, Simeon, Anna 
                                                                      ( These are my reality checks)

    My mind as been stretched since I have been made more aware of the different lifestyles surrounding me. I must say since my daughter Mariah has come into my life over two years ago, she has managed to completely change my point of view on certain issues. In my writing class we were asked to pick our own topics; which ones seemed more important to us. My number one choice was marriage and gender roles. This is my most challenging topic, since I have had my own ideas about what marriage should be and what a gender role is. To me a gender role was, which job I as a wife and mother would carry out in my home, and what was left for my husband. If you would have talked to me a little over two and half years ago about this, that would have been my answer.

   When people talk about gender roles it goes so much deeper. There is such a big controversy about this issue; about gay rights, lesbian rights. Should a gay or lesbian couple be able to be foster parents, adopt or even have the right to raise a child? Would that be damaging to the child, will it ruin the child? I have heard pro's and cons about this. 

   Let's get back to class, we had the choice to pick an article that belongs to our topic, the guys in my group let me pick first (that was so nice, thanks :) )I chose this article "My Daughters Have No Mothers" by Max Mutchnick, I did not read what it was about, the title just caught my eye. I am really glad that I chose this one. For two and a half years I have been trying to explain how I feel about all of this. I believe wholeheartedly that it should not matter whether kids have a same sex couple, hetero couple, or a  single mom or dad for parents, as long as they are safe people; the love of a parent is the love of a parent.

                                               Author Max Mutchnick with his twin girls and life partner

  In his article "My Daughters Have No Mother" Max Mutchnick  describes the hoops "Gay" people have to jump through to have a baby. The planning, the waiting, the anxieties and the search for the right person to donate the egg, the same for the person to carry the baby, the right DNA. To me this sounds as if it's not any different then when my aunt was looking for a sperm donor, or for any other couple that can't get pregnant to find just the right stranger(s) to help them. Mutchnick describes how he felt during all of this, and how he is realizing that his daughters do not have a mother but they do have a big family, a clean and safe environment, laughter, and lots and lots of love from two wonderful doting fathers. Wow, this really did it for me, it sounds to me that these girls have everything their hearts will ever want or need.

                                           Family image shutterstock.com

 Is this not what being a parent is all about? Being there for your kids, loving them and spoiling them? 

So why should it matter if the parents are same sex or not, love for your child is love for your child, and trust me there are lots of kids out there living in hetero households that never get to see even a fraction of the love Mutchnick's girls see daily.

                                               It-Takes-a-Village image from brokendownhouseonfire.com    
"It takes a village to raise a child" how often I have heard someone tell me that's the way it should be, a village, meaning it will take more than the parents to raise a child. I believe that this concept  is what Mutchnick was talking about, he even uses a version of this old saying "It takes a village to make a gaybie".